ichoosefight | 13 - Text - A good dose of nihilism

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13 - Text - A good dose of nihilism

[ Private to Tim, Cissie, Claire, separately ]

I want to ask a perfectly serious question, in no way meant to imply anything about anyone, ever, so don't read into it.

Why are you still here?

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And you're happier here than you might be somewhere else?

...I'm happier here than I was at home, yeah. I've got more friends and psuedo-family here. I've got a purpose here, even if I've been screwed over once already, at least.

Surely there are other places you could go, though...

Other than here or home? Probably. But would we know each other at home? Probably not. I wouldn't know Molly, or Murphy, or Sylar, or Gabriel, or Bruce or anyone else I've gotten to know here. I wouldn't be talking with Tim like I do. I don't know where I'd go or what I'd do if I left. And now I've been working for the last month or so to prove to Bela I'm not going anywhere, so--I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not saying you should, I'm just curious.

I know. I'm just... saying. It sucks here sometimes, but... I really don't want to leave. And I know I'm in the minority because of that.

...Can I ask why the curiosity?

I'm just... frustrated. With everything. There's so much stuff happening here it makes my head spin.

It has been a little crazy lately. It happens every so often, but it'll blow over. I think--you have an inmate now, right? Focus on him for now. Step away from the journals for a little while and spend some time clearing your head.

And if you need more immediate therapy, there's a kitten here who would love some attention.

You're probably right.

I don't think I'm at the point of needing therapy yet, but I would love to play with your kitten.

I have my moments. Anyway, it's what I do. If I'm overwhelmed, I throw my journal under a pillow and go for a run in the CES or spend some quality time with my bow. I find it easier to filter out stuff when I've had a break.

I think playing with him is therapy even if you don't want it to be, but you should come on over and meet him anyway.

That's what I've been doing for the last month and a half. I feel like it won't do me much good at this point. I need something to really take things off my mind. Something like an adorable abandoned kitten in much need of some love.

Then I think I have just what you need. Come on over.

Thanks, Cissie. You're a good friend.

[That's not something Cissie hears an awful lot these days. You've possibly made her day, Steph.]

Um. Thanks. I'll see you soon, then.

[ And so she does! Not much more than five minutes later, there is a knock at your door. ]

[Cissie opens the door, carrying an armful of kitten. Well, it's more like a handful than an armful, given his size, but that's beside the point. She grins at Steph and steps back to let her in.] Hey, come on in.

[ Her eyes are already sparkling as she steps in, gaze locked on the ball of fur. ]

Don't mind if I do. Someone abandoned this little guy?

[Cissie grins and holds out her kitten, offering him to Stephanie. There's nothing like a purring furball when you're feeling down.]

Yeah. Can you believe it? I don't get what's wrong with some people.

[ She'll just cuddle him to death, thanks. ]

Poor little guy, having to grow up in such a wretched world.

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13 - Text - A good dose of nihilism

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