13 - Text - A good dose of nihilism

[ichoosefight]

[ Private to Tim, Cissie, Claire, separately ]

I want to ask a perfectly serious question, in no way meant to imply anything about anyone, ever, so don't read into it.

Why are you still here?

Comments

[Private]

[peektuttut]

I made a deal.

What's wrong?

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

But you can quit at any time, right? So you think there's something to be gained from staying here.

[Private]

[peektuttut]

I don't really like calling it quits halfway through things. Besides, Sylar needs the help.

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

So you're staying to help Sylar.

[Private]

[peektuttut]

More or less. What brought this on?

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Just... everything. It feels weird, being here, with everything that happens. Like a lost cause.

[Private]

[peektuttut]

It's not. Some cases are more difficult than others, but it's not. People graduate.

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

And what then? Do we really know what happens? People come back, people lose their memories, people are just plain dead. What are we actually accomplishing here?

[Private]

[peektuttut]

For all we know, this could be a colossal waist of time. But when we go back, it's to right where we left off. Even if we lose our memories, maybe it still affects us.

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Maybe. And even if we are, even if we can, I don't like the way this place works.

There are a lot of things happening here that are really messed up, and everybody complains about it but nobody seems to do anything about it. At least, nothing that sticks. Half of the Wardens refuse to work with the other half, and why? Because nobody wants anyone else to be in charge? Can you honestly tell me that the existence of this barge isn't doing more harm than good?

[Private]

[peektuttut]

Steph, over half our population is already dead. Instead of - I don't know what, they're here, either working to redeem an inmate and living a little longer, or waiting to be redeemed and living longer. What's so bad about that?

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

What's the point of redemption if it's already too late to change anything?

[Private]

[peektuttut]

Who said it's too late?

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

It's a little late if you're dead.

[Private]

[peektuttut]

Part of graduating is the option to go back.

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

[ Headdesk. ] I don't get this place. It's horrendously frustrating and my Inmate hasn't even done anything yet.

[Private]

[peektuttut]

Gotham had rules. This place just has a different set of them.

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

Does it? I was starting to wonder. Do any of them apply to wardens?

[Private]

[peektuttut]

I know it looks pretty chaotic, and in a lot of ways, it is. But I'm pretty sure people wouldn't stand for enforced order, and I'm not really interested in setting someone up as a despot.

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

I don't understand how we're supposed to help people start a new life in utter chaos.

[Private]

[cisskabob]

Brutal honesty? I've got no reason to leave.

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

And you're happier here than you might be somewhere else?

[Private]

[peektuttut]

Adapt. Sometimes focusing on your inmate is the best thing you can do.

[Private]

[ichoosefight.livejournal.com]

But it can't be good for them either.

[Private]

[cisskabob]

...I'm happier here than I was at home, yeah. I've got more friends and psuedo-family here. I've got a purpose here, even if I've been screwed over once already, at least.