ichoosefight | 13 - Text - A good dose of nihilism

I made a deal.

What's wrong?

But you can quit at any time, right? So you think there's something to be gained from staying here.

I don't really like calling it quits halfway through things. Besides, Sylar needs the help.

So you're staying to help Sylar.

More or less. What brought this on?

Just... everything. It feels weird, being here, with everything that happens. Like a lost cause.

It's not. Some cases are more difficult than others, but it's not. People graduate.

And what then? Do we really know what happens? People come back, people lose their memories, people are just plain dead. What are we actually accomplishing here?

For all we know, this could be a colossal waist of time. But when we go back, it's to right where we left off. Even if we lose our memories, maybe it still affects us.

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Brutal honesty? I've got no reason to leave.

And you're happier here than you might be somewhere else?

...I'm happier here than I was at home, yeah. I've got more friends and psuedo-family here. I've got a purpose here, even if I've been screwed over once already, at least.

Surely there are other places you could go, though...

Other than here or home? Probably. But would we know each other at home? Probably not. I wouldn't know Molly, or Murphy, or Sylar, or Gabriel, or Bruce or anyone else I've gotten to know here. I wouldn't be talking with Tim like I do. I don't know where I'd go or what I'd do if I left. And now I've been working for the last month or so to prove to Bela I'm not going anywhere, so--I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not saying you should, I'm just curious.

I know. I'm just... saying. It sucks here sometimes, but... I really don't want to leave. And I know I'm in the minority because of that.

...Can I ask why the curiosity?

I'm just... frustrated. With everything. There's so much stuff happening here it makes my head spin.

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[Private] -> Spam?

ichoosefight.livejournal.com - 2010-10-22 23:54 (UTC) - Expand

[Private] -> Spam, yes! (Sorry I'm slow!)

cisskabob - 2010-10-23 15:31 (UTC) - Expand

[Spam] You're fine bb <3!

ichoosefight.livejournal.com - 2010-10-23 23:50 (UTC) - Expand

[Spam] <3!

cisskabob - 2010-10-26 06:08 (UTC) - Expand

[Spam] <3!

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[Spam] <3!

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[Spam

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I have a responsibility to my Inmate. I have this ability and I'm supposed to do something with it, and while it doesn't go to use every day here like I could back home at a hospital or something, it certainly has it's perks. I came here thinking I would hunt down the bad guys...I just had to alter my motives some.

Why?

I'm just... trying to figure it out myself, I guess.

What do you mean, you thought you could hunt down the bad guys?

Then I'll help you try.

I was attacked and I wanted him to pay. I wanted all of them to pay. But after I started going after them, I realized how stupid it was to do it alone because it fell apart, it went horribly wrong and I only caused more trouble for my family than good.

[ She is relating so hard right now. ] That sort of thing works better when you've got a team to back you up. Or at least a friend.

I know that now. Just had to learn the really sucky way.

[Course, Meredith died anyway, just not by Doyle's puppeteer hands.]

Yeah, I know how that is. At least you don't have any scars to show for it. [ Physical ones, anyway. Mmm, morbid humor. ]

[She gets a laugh, but just barely.] Yeah.

How do you know, Stephanie?

You haven't tried to hide any. [ It's as much a guess as anything, but she's curious about that tone. Stephanie has makeup over her scars. She hadn't noticed any when they hung out before. ]

Why, have some you want to show off?

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