02 - Even weirder than usual weird

[ichoosefight]

So, I found a dead body?

[ Her voice is utterly uncertain and confused. She was told that people came back here, but the woman on the bed behind her is very apparently dead. And she's been that way for a while.

Steph turns the camera around to show Sylvanas, draped over her own bed. At least, Steph assumes it's hers, since she was half in the door when Steph got there. She was kind enough to drag the body to the nearest comfortable surface for revival. Dead bodies are heavy, man. And so are undead comatose bodies. ]

She's supposed to come back, right? 'Cause I've been waiting for a good couple of minutes now and she's still pretty dead.

Did somebody leave out a few details in Orientation?

Comments

[Video]

[tentacruelest]

[With sudden, direct seriousness that holds a threatening potential for violence further down the lines]

You will let her be. I'll come to collect her momentarily.

Do not release her to any inmate before I arrive.

[Video]

[ichoosefight]

Um, 'kay. [ This was not the best way to approach Steph with a request. ]

And I should do this why exactly?

[Video]

[tentacruelest]

Because if you don't, girl, I'll snap your head from your body and cast your pieces over the side.

Shut the door and remain there until I come down.

[Video]

[ichoosefight]

Tempting. Or I could lock the door and stay in here until you learn to ask nicely.

[Video]

[tentacruelest]

If she is truly dead and not, as I suspect, in a Barge-related coma, then she has an enemy aboard this ship and I will not allow her body to be picked apart by the carrion that infests this rancid pit.

And a locked door won't stop me.

[Yes, it will; his warden's sapped his strength. But he can bluff]

[Video]

[ichoosefight]

And I'm just supposed to trust that you're not the enemy here? I'm pretty sure I can find a decent weapon before you get here.

[ The sad thing is she doesn't really even care. It's an opportunity to be ornery, and she'll take what she can get. ]

[Video]

[tentacruelest]

I am not her enemy. I am the enemy of all who would see her harmed or would stop me from seeking assistance for her.

Try all you like. But I will be down in a few minutes and I intend to remove her to the infirmary.

[Video]

[ichoosefight]

Lookin' forward to it, Cthulu. Should be a fun afternoon.

[tentacruelest]

[With a snarl, the video shuts off.

Not moments later, Jones' entrance is heralded by the drip-drip of water cascading off his body as he limps down to Sylvanas' door]

[routemistress]

'Ey Steph. That's Sylvanas - she was undead to start with, so she wouldn't be breathing in any case. That looks like 'er version of a barge coma to me.

[private]

Don't mind Spongebob Squidpants. 'E's an arse but 'e's got a pash on Sylvanas. 'E'll look after 'er all right.

private;

[ichoosefight]

...

There are zombies?

[ That actually ranks on her 'weird' charts. And she will just sort of turn her face to hide the bruises Dent gave her when they fought. ]

So what you're saying is I shouldn't tase him.

Re: private;

[routemistress]

Only if you need to for your own safety. 'Is bark's a lot more frequent than 'is bite. That 'im I can 'ear banging the door down?

[She can see you not showing your face, Steph. She's just not going to call you on it right now.]

...I'm on me way down. Just in case 'e decides to get arsey with you.

private;

[ichoosefight]

Much appreciated. I don't like my chances against an Eldrich horror.

Re: private;

[routemistress]

Victor and me got into it with 'im during that flood when we were all little kids. Could've pulled us to bits and 'e never. 'E's got a severe attitude problem, but then that's what 'e says about me, so.

On me way.

private;

[ichoosefight]

It's more the "could" that's got me worried.

private;

[routemistress]

Harvey told Babs 'e were like... what was the name, Croc something?

Very strong. Very pissy. But it's 'arder than it looks to get 'im to do real damage. 'E's never 'urt me and I've pissed 'im off a lot.

[lastincident]

Sylvanas is undead; if there's no obvious wounds, she's probably in a barge coma.

If you need help in getting her to the infirmary let me know. [ He can see that conversation with Davy there. ]

[ Private ]

Should we find some time to talk about your episode with Mr. Dent?

[ichoosefight]

It's out of my hands now. [ Fish man has left the building. ]

[ Private ]

It was a fight, not an 'episode'. You want to tell me why Cthulu should be afraid of you?

[Private]

[lastincident]

He'll hopefully bring her up to me instead of keeping her in his cabin.

Mr. Dent and I have a certain duality in common. I just don't wear the, uh, other guy on the outside.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

My warden has Multiple Personality Disorder. That's comforting. And what, this 'other guy' isn't afraid to give lethal injections?

[ Her image of him is very much 'male leslie thompkins'. ]

[Private]

[lastincident]

The official diagnosis would be closer to Disassociative Identity Disorder. But we're-- integrating isn't quite the right word for it, but it's as close as you can get.


The -- other guy isn't so sophisticated. He just gets angry and punches things.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

I think you're losing me on the part where Cthulu is a huge muscly octopus man and you're, well, a doctor.

[Private]

[lastincident]

...come down to my cabin and I'll show you.

[ He's not ruining a perfectly good pair of pants for this. He's got to go change. ]

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

[ Woah what seriously? ]

Okay.

[ Look, actual reason to see him of her volition! ]

[Private]

[lastincident]

[ Locking up the infirmary once a few things are settled, he heads to his room to change into sweatpants and wait. He doesn't bother with a shirt, because it's just going to get shredded, so when she comes to the door he'll be greeting her in his topless, hirsute glory. ]