72,09 - Reparations

[ichoosefight]

So uh... the flood is over, right? [ Steph looks kind of unsure about this. People are acting oddly. ]

I guess I just wanted to check in and make sure everyone is okay. Since a lot of people said a lot of things that they didn't really mean, and all.

That's all.

Comments

Re: [Private]

[lastmanstanding]

...Then you get out of here for real huh?

[Envious? You'd bet.]

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

Hmm? No, I'm staying, even if Wanda graduates. My deal isn't really a one shot wonder.

[Private]

[lastmanstanding]

...Oh. You're braver then I am.

[He has no problem admitting this anymore. Everybody on the barge saw him cowering in a blanket fort. Some of them saw him holding a stuffed dinosaur. Pride? What is that?]

I'm torn between noble intentions and just wanting my sister back with all of this.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

Kinda got that impression. [ She's not laughing at him. Promise. ]

I just... have a lot of mistakes to undo.

Re: [Private]

[lastmanstanding]

[He flinches]

....I can't...keep focusing on..one person at a time. [He's embarrassed by this] I want to go back and try being a cop again.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

You know it's alright to just focus on yourself for a while.

[Private]

[lastmanstanding]

...What do I have to focus on? The fact that I died? That I lost the one person who cared about me unconditionally? The fact that all of my friends are-

[he stops, when he speaks again he sounds sad.] Stephanie I don't think I know how anymore. And I think that even if I did...maybe I gave up to the right to do that when I broke the law. At least, that's how I feel.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

[ She raises her eyebrows. ]

Here's a good place to start. Why don't you focus on turning that into "yeah that's a good idea, I've been working hard lately and I could use a scoop of ice cream."

[Private]

[lastmanstanding]

...Ice cream?

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

I was gonna say a hot bath but it sounded kinda creepy.

Re: [Private]

[lastmanstanding]

I'm not-

[He snorts]

...I'm used to relaxing socially. I..

[He looks frustrated for a moment.] Amanda doesn't know how and I've forgotten how to. what a fucking pair we are.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

It's the 'beating yourself up' thing that's kind of a problem. Too far to the other end of the spectrum, you know?

Re: [Private]

[lastmanstanding]

Again, what would you suggest we do? Or I do. If I forget for one single moment what I've done...

[He looks mildly amused] Maybe that's the admiral's reason for sticking me in a kid's fucking fort.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

Learn the difference between living in the past and working for the future. You don't have to forget to do better.

Re: [Private]

[lastmanstanding]

Sure.

[This was an issue the admiral-in his wisdom said "show, don't tell." and so he is left trying to figure that out. Feeling angry and sad. Sounding angry and sad.]

...I'll try.

Thanks Steph again.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

You keep thanking me like that and I might start to actually think I'm helping.

Re: [Private]

[lastmanstanding]

You haven't hit me or beaten me recently. That helps.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

We did declare a truce. That usually involves less hitting and beating by both parties.

[Private]

[lastmanstanding]

[He laughs at that.] We did.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

Second chances aren't easy. Beating yourself up all the time doesn't help anyone or make it any easier.

[Private]

[lastmanstanding]

...I wish other people thought like you did.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

I get by because I think that way and refuse to listen to anyone else.

Re: [Private]

[lastmanstanding]

Careful, that could come back to bite you in the ass.

[Private]

[ichoosefight]

It can try, but I probably won't listen to it.

Re: [Private]

[lastmanstanding]

...Like those thoughts.