[ She pries a hand off of her mug, and then another one as she sets it down to take his hand. She squeezes tight as she wipes her eyes. ]

I didn't have a partner. He told me he didn't want me being Spoiler anymore either. Nobody knew to look for me but Selina. So I knew nobody was coming for me. I stopped caring, all I could think about was the war going on outside and how I started it.

I don't know what happened, but eventually one of my hands slipped out of the chains. I managed to pull the other one out and regain consciousness before he came back. And then I ambushed him. I got his gun. I was going to shoot him in the face. It was all I wanted. I was so angry at him and myself and the world and I just wanted to end it all.

[ She takes a deep breath, lets it out. ]

I couldn't do it. I realized... I realized I was dead either way. I was bleeding and broken and it didn't matter anymore, all that mattered was that Batman wouldn't want me to. Tim wouldn't want me to. I didn't want them to hate me any more than I thought they already must.

So he took the gun back and shot me and left me for dead. And when I woke up I went looking for Batman.