Stephanie Brown (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ichoosefight) wrote2011-04-12 01:25 pm
ichoosefight) wrote2011-04-12 01:25 pm
Entry tags:
47 - Spam - An hour long monologue. That I have made SO MANY SMALL EDITS TOO GAWD.
[ On the Network, Private to Bruce ]
Hey. How're you doing? I'm not like, about to pounce on you or anything, this isn't a trap. I just figured since everyone you've ever cared about on board is probably pretty pissed right now, maybe you'd like to just... chat. With someone who isn't trying to jump down your throat or anything.
[ When he doesn't respond after a while, she goes to his room to check on him, knocks on the door. ]
Hey, Bruce? You didn't answer my message. Are you okay?
...
I know you're in there. And I know you can hear me.
...
Okay, fine. Silent treatment it is. You know it's less effective the five-hundredth time.
...
Whatever. [ She sits down, leaning against door. ]
I'm sure you know Dick busted up his hand, but it's taken care of now. If you care. It's really hard to share the news with somebody who knows everything, you know? Of course you do. You know everything.
...
Blonsky is doing just about as well as can be expected. Did you know he died during the nanomite incident? I didn't have time to do anything about it because I was busy getting my brain fried. He says he's okay now, but he won't admit he has a drug problem. I'd say it's a blast from the past and at least he's not my mother, but jeez, who knows? Next flood he might be.
I think I'm making some progress with O'Brien, too. I know he's not my inmate so I shouldn't really bother and it's none of my business and blah-blah-blah, but I think having someone to talk to who doesn't buy his bullshit is good for him. It may just be breaking his brain knowing that he has a friend, sort of. Oh, and a 'choice', and 'value'. I always thought 1984 was a really bizarre book, but talking to someone from that world can be so... I don't know. It's sort of infuriating, and it's sort of like I'm gaining a new respect for the literature. I guess I learned something good from high school after all, for all that I skipped a year to ruin every last one of my relationships. But hey, I'm good at it. Why change a good thing?
I guess it doesn't really matter anymore that Tim won't ever forgive me for that. For one, he's a massive hypocrite, and for two... Have you heard of Detective Nick Gage? I mean, probably not, he's the newest detective on the team. He's a nice guy. Not to mention cute. I guess it's just nice to have someone to work with who doesn't question the fact that I speak and have a face. People are starting to get over the whole 'new girl in town' thing, but god it's so annoying having to deal with all... that. But I guess Dick would probably know about that better than you would.
...
You know, I haven't seen Cass since she left. She told me not to go after her, but I really miss her. Kara's a good friend, but I hate thinking that work was all me and Cass had going for us. I think Wendy and I might be getting some good rapport going, but it's not really the same, you know? Or maybe you don't, what do I know. It's not like we've ever really talked. You know everything that happens in my life, and I know maybe ten percent of what happens in yours. But I guess after O'Brien I'm getting pretty used to one-sided relationships.
...
Things are getting better with my mom. You know, since the drugs and me dying and then coming back. [ A laugh. ] She's started making me waffles every morning. Sort of like a peace offering. She's the only real family I've got left, so I'll take it. She doesn't know about my new job, though. I just can't tell her. Things are going so well between us right now. I'm going to college, being a normal little girl like she always wanted. I think it might just break her if she knew. Especially after what happened. I hate lying to her like that, but this might be our only chance to really fix things. I wish I could talk to her about everything that happens in my life, but I don't want to ruin a good thing. Not if I could die at any moment. Again. You know. Like, if I have to go? I want her to know that her family wasn't a complete misfire.
...
So anyway, I guess that's everything that's happened since you died, and before you came back. Oh! I've been practicing the things you showed me. Although I'm sure you knew that, too. I don't think he's caught on yet, so I guess I must be doing something right. Talk about a change of pace, right? [ Another laugh. ] Yeah, yeah.
...
You know, I did this with Tim once. Or at least, I tried to. I wanted to be there for him, but he wouldn't talk to me, so I threatened to sit outside his door until he'd talk to me. He seemed actually surprised that I went through with it.
He left for the infirmary, said he'd be back. I guess he went to spend the night with his new girlfriend. I guess I'm just really forgettable. He apologized the next day, and you know he wouldn't have if he did it on purpose.
...
In any case, the point is that I'd really rather not sleep on the floor again, so I guess since you know I can literally talk until I pass out here, effectively blocking your door until you come out, not that I'd expect you to care that much about waking me up by whacking me with a door, that I'll just... let you fill in the blanks. So from here I go on to talk about all the people I thought I could help since I've been here, and all the stupid mistakes that have happened as a result. Maybe even a talk about Christmas and how I was so sick that I wandered down to Zero and ranted at Tim until I passed out from the fever. Then I could probably tell you about Claire and her adorable dog, maybe Arthur and how we're secret library buddies even though neither of us seem to particularly like the library. I spend the next three hours talking your ears off about my friends and enemies, ways the barge has changed me and what a jerk the Admiral is, and then at some point I miraculously run out of things to say and determine to wait here until you come out even though I know you haven't been listening to any of this, fall asleep, you need to get food or go beat somebody up or something, wake me up by whacking me with the door, I try to talk to you, it doesn't work, and then I go back to my room to write in my diary about what a weird week it's been.
So now that this whole heartwarming, pointless story has been wrapped up so nicely, I think I'm gonna go to the dining hall and fill an entire plate with nothing but mashed potatoes. In case you were planning to avoid me or something. I'm sure you would've been able to without that tidbit, just thought I'd be helpful.
...
So I guess I'll see you later. You've got to come out eventually, you know.
[ She gets up with a bit of a groan, dusts herself off, and heads to the dining hall. Anyone who might have passed her by while this monologue was taking place can suck it, because she waved you away. Glared at you if you didn't leave her alone. She's talking to a door, dammit.
Although spam in the dining hall is totally welcome. ]
Hey. How're you doing? I'm not like, about to pounce on you or anything, this isn't a trap. I just figured since everyone you've ever cared about on board is probably pretty pissed right now, maybe you'd like to just... chat. With someone who isn't trying to jump down your throat or anything.
[ When he doesn't respond after a while, she goes to his room to check on him, knocks on the door. ]
Hey, Bruce? You didn't answer my message. Are you okay?
...
I know you're in there. And I know you can hear me.
...
Okay, fine. Silent treatment it is. You know it's less effective the five-hundredth time.
...
Whatever. [ She sits down, leaning against door. ]
I'm sure you know Dick busted up his hand, but it's taken care of now. If you care. It's really hard to share the news with somebody who knows everything, you know? Of course you do. You know everything.
...
Blonsky is doing just about as well as can be expected. Did you know he died during the nanomite incident? I didn't have time to do anything about it because I was busy getting my brain fried. He says he's okay now, but he won't admit he has a drug problem. I'd say it's a blast from the past and at least he's not my mother, but jeez, who knows? Next flood he might be.
I think I'm making some progress with O'Brien, too. I know he's not my inmate so I shouldn't really bother and it's none of my business and blah-blah-blah, but I think having someone to talk to who doesn't buy his bullshit is good for him. It may just be breaking his brain knowing that he has a friend, sort of. Oh, and a 'choice', and 'value'. I always thought 1984 was a really bizarre book, but talking to someone from that world can be so... I don't know. It's sort of infuriating, and it's sort of like I'm gaining a new respect for the literature. I guess I learned something good from high school after all, for all that I skipped a year to ruin every last one of my relationships. But hey, I'm good at it. Why change a good thing?
I guess it doesn't really matter anymore that Tim won't ever forgive me for that. For one, he's a massive hypocrite, and for two... Have you heard of Detective Nick Gage? I mean, probably not, he's the newest detective on the team. He's a nice guy. Not to mention cute. I guess it's just nice to have someone to work with who doesn't question the fact that I speak and have a face. People are starting to get over the whole 'new girl in town' thing, but god it's so annoying having to deal with all... that. But I guess Dick would probably know about that better than you would.
...
You know, I haven't seen Cass since she left. She told me not to go after her, but I really miss her. Kara's a good friend, but I hate thinking that work was all me and Cass had going for us. I think Wendy and I might be getting some good rapport going, but it's not really the same, you know? Or maybe you don't, what do I know. It's not like we've ever really talked. You know everything that happens in my life, and I know maybe ten percent of what happens in yours. But I guess after O'Brien I'm getting pretty used to one-sided relationships.
...
Things are getting better with my mom. You know, since the drugs and me dying and then coming back. [ A laugh. ] She's started making me waffles every morning. Sort of like a peace offering. She's the only real family I've got left, so I'll take it. She doesn't know about my new job, though. I just can't tell her. Things are going so well between us right now. I'm going to college, being a normal little girl like she always wanted. I think it might just break her if she knew. Especially after what happened. I hate lying to her like that, but this might be our only chance to really fix things. I wish I could talk to her about everything that happens in my life, but I don't want to ruin a good thing. Not if I could die at any moment. Again. You know. Like, if I have to go? I want her to know that her family wasn't a complete misfire.
...
So anyway, I guess that's everything that's happened since you died, and before you came back. Oh! I've been practicing the things you showed me. Although I'm sure you knew that, too. I don't think he's caught on yet, so I guess I must be doing something right. Talk about a change of pace, right? [ Another laugh. ] Yeah, yeah.
...
You know, I did this with Tim once. Or at least, I tried to. I wanted to be there for him, but he wouldn't talk to me, so I threatened to sit outside his door until he'd talk to me. He seemed actually surprised that I went through with it.
He left for the infirmary, said he'd be back. I guess he went to spend the night with his new girlfriend. I guess I'm just really forgettable. He apologized the next day, and you know he wouldn't have if he did it on purpose.
...
In any case, the point is that I'd really rather not sleep on the floor again, so I guess since you know I can literally talk until I pass out here, effectively blocking your door until you come out, not that I'd expect you to care that much about waking me up by whacking me with a door, that I'll just... let you fill in the blanks. So from here I go on to talk about all the people I thought I could help since I've been here, and all the stupid mistakes that have happened as a result. Maybe even a talk about Christmas and how I was so sick that I wandered down to Zero and ranted at Tim until I passed out from the fever. Then I could probably tell you about Claire and her adorable dog, maybe Arthur and how we're secret library buddies even though neither of us seem to particularly like the library. I spend the next three hours talking your ears off about my friends and enemies, ways the barge has changed me and what a jerk the Admiral is, and then at some point I miraculously run out of things to say and determine to wait here until you come out even though I know you haven't been listening to any of this, fall asleep, you need to get food or go beat somebody up or something, wake me up by whacking me with the door, I try to talk to you, it doesn't work, and then I go back to my room to write in my diary about what a weird week it's been.
So now that this whole heartwarming, pointless story has been wrapped up so nicely, I think I'm gonna go to the dining hall and fill an entire plate with nothing but mashed potatoes. In case you were planning to avoid me or something. I'm sure you would've been able to without that tidbit, just thought I'd be helpful.
...
So I guess I'll see you later. You've got to come out eventually, you know.
[ She gets up with a bit of a groan, dusts herself off, and heads to the dining hall. Anyone who might have passed her by while this monologue was taking place can suck it, because she waved you away. Glared at you if you didn't leave her alone. She's talking to a door, dammit.
Although spam in the dining hall is totally welcome. ]
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Are you holding this table for anyone?
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Oh, yeah, see I've got this posse of imaginary friends to keep me company when the barge starts going crazy.
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As you can see, I have decided I may as well stay.
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[ She even laughs a little. ]
Is that what the jeans mean? I was wondering.
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[He looks down like he's almost forgotten, but he hasn't.] I wear them in the garden. I usually change before coming in here though.
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I didn't know you worked in the garden.
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Did you do a lot of gardening back home?
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[ not here ]
It's difficult to try to erase someone who has so many ties- and whose ties are refusing to let you. It's easier and more comfortable and, hell, more natural for him to be Batman instead of Bruce Wayne. Because Alfred's right, a few months and an entire lifetime and a 'death' ago - he has forgotten how to be Bruce Wayne.
He's trying to learn, coming here. He keeps trying to learn, because he sees it in Dick and Tim and Steph and it seems so easy. They simply were still them, except with a costume and a mask. But he wears a mask as Bruce Wayne and Batman both, and the latter is more comfortable. The former- he has forgotten even about how the corners hook over his ears.
It's ironic.
Maybe he should try to exorcise this anger. ]
[ not here ]