ichoosefight | 23 - I'm keeping him

Entry tags:

tlv: event

23 - I'm keeping him

It's everyone's favorite time of the year: E.T. phone home. Who's around? Anyone in top secret bases that nobody could possibly ever hack into?

[ooc | This is a fourth wall post! Open to literally anybody, idec. ]

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Not exactly, but I could always climb into the trunk of my car if it would make you feel better, darlin'.

[ Oh Dean, you are such a sight for sore eyes. ]

Only if you've got a little blue light for atmosphere. How've you been?

[He knows, he knows.

No really, he knows.]

Uuhhhh we've got like. These inset ones or something, I don't even know. [The hunter squints up above him, and he is in fact lounging on a couch right now, but grin easily when he comes back from play-acting.]

I'm awesome. I mean it's easy for someone like me, but the truth hurts. How're you?

[ She kind of wishes he didn't. But talking about it would be silly, who does that? ]

Oh, I'm fabulous. But, you know, it's easy for someone like me. [ She grins impishly. ]

I think I'm actually making progress with Scorpius.

Well, I'm not in a top secret base, but I am in a radio station. This is odd. I shouldn't be receiving calls while I'm broadcasting.

[ This is inexplicably super exciting. ]

Oh man, am I on the radio? What year is it?

Why, yes. I'm Kevin, with Greater Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area Community Radio.

Oh, I can't really tell you since time isn't real. It's just a figment of our imagination.

[ Uh. ]

Right. Duh. Well hi. I'm Steph, I'm from Gotham, New Jersey, and I am currently calling you from an interdimensional prison barge somewhere and somewhen in space.

I know it can be easy to forget with all these clocks around. It's silly. Sometimes even I forget.

Steph, it's nice to meet you. A prison barge? Have you been temporarily imprisoned for your own good by a large overpowering corporate entity?

[ Why does he sound so pleasant when he says that? This is weird ]

Nah, I work here. And I don't think the Admiral is corporate. He seems more the independent type to me.

[Might be because he's completely insane.]

Oh! An entrepreneur! It must be just wonderful to work for such a pioneer! How long have you been working there?

[ Could be... ]

Aw, he's a total psycho. Megalomaniac, even. I've been working here for a year this April, since I graduated from being an inmate.

With attitudes like that, it certainly sounds like his enterprises will go far!

Oh? You graduated? Congratulations! Such an accomplishment must mean you are a very hard worker.

Thanks. I worked hard for it.

That's good! Working hard is important. The most important!

But, just what is your job now?

I help other people graduate. It's a prison, but it's also a rehabilitation center. Which, let me tell you, is like ten thousand times more effective than regular prison. I'm from Gotham, I should know. Our biggest mental institution is basically a revolving door.

[Thattagirl. He laughs, short and appreciative, straightens up a little in his seat so he can talk to her properly.]

'Course you are. Not even the world's freakiest Caesar stand-in can get through that skull of yours when you set your mind to it. I mean, forget about it.

He given you too much trouble?

Nothing I can't handle. He even made a friend. Like, an actual real life friend.

What a clever program! Turning disgraceful and individualistic criminals into productive cohesive workers. That's very resourceful!

That kind of program is the thing we need in our sleepy little community.

Dude, is that allowed?

I gave him special permission. He built the scariest looking prosthetic arm, and didn't even kill anyone in the process.

[ That seems a little overboard, but she'll give him the benefit of the doubt. ]

You get a lot of dangerous criminals in your sleepy little community?

Oh, no more than any other little town I suppose. There's just the occasional little girl and her army of book reading children and the occasional stranger with outside ideals.

[ Full stop, do not pass go. ]

A... book club and tourists?

Scientists this time, not just tourists.

[But yes. That's really what he means.]

Dangerous criminals.

[ Page check on aisle two? ]

Yes! With their dangerous new ideas! They stand against everything we love!

[ That is a 404 error, folks. ]

I'm sorry, remind me again what we love?

Did you put the "don't kill anyone" in the conditions, or is that why he didn't do it?

It was strongly implied.

Free enterprise, hard work and strong, oppressive, authority!

Well christ on a pogo stick. It sounds like actual progress from over here, then.

[ Well at least now she knows she's reached crazy town. Time to do what little she can from another world. ]

Yeah, that's not normal. 'Oppressive' is a bad thing.

I know, right? I might even be able to visit you in person before the next network glitch.

Dude, you totally should! Only give me a heads up so I can make sure I'm in the right year. Or ask Iris, she knows how to find me.

Yeah, of course! Why take a chance when I can go on an adventure in the TARDIS?

Because Iris is a really bad driver?

Oh please. That's half the fun.

Yeah, you say that now, but next thing you know you're strapped to a spit over a fire with a bunch-a aliens hovering around trying to decide if you'd make a better medium rare or medium well.

Like that isn't basically my life already?

You're looking too good to be dangling over a fire right now, darlin'.

You caught me between Luaus.

Admit it, you took a break from the main course to get lei'd.

You've been waiting your whole life to make that joke, haven't you.

You ever known me to have that kinda patience?

For a really bad sex pun? Stranger things have happened.

Fine, you caught me.

I'm still waiting on a couple more, but it should happen before old age eats 'em outta my brain.

I always knew you were more than just good looks.

Oh, I'm really, really not.

It's just that my looks are so good, they branched out into other skills.

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23 - I'm keeping him

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