18 - But satisfaction brought it back

[ichoosefight]

Fuck it, you win. I'm the cat curiosity killed.

[ Somehow everything she says seems to carry a tone of bored superiority - kind of like a cat, ironically. But there's genuine curiosity in there, and maybe a small hint of defeat. She isn't supposed to actually give a damn. ]

So why don't we take a few minutes, pretend you don't think I'm an evil mustache twirling version of everyone's favorite fucking cheerleader-reject, and tell me about your barge. Your barge normally, not your barge after interdimensional shit has hit the fan.

Comments

[private; photo]

[sickjoke]

[ Enjoy the blackmail of an increasingly adorable (and sugared up and eventually drunk) Stephanie and two corgi puppies. ]

Exhibit A: What the barge is like on good days.

[private]

[ichoosefight]

[ Oh god, she is so embarrassed. Especially in the ones where it becomes increasing clear her pupils are the size of dinner plates. ]

I have matches, an emp gun and mcguyver level skills with paperclips. Delete the photos and no electronics get hurt.

[private]

[sickjoke]

My electronics are hardened -- plus I don't think the communicator can be wiped -- and the emp gun will get a lot of people angry, and ... i can't think of any witty comebacks about paperclips.

You're a lot like your duplicate when you're not afraid for your life or cranking the Hardass to 11.

[private]

[ichoosefight]

Are you trying to tell me my duplicate is a stoner?

I am completely willing to piss of owners of electronic devices and pick your comm apart into rubber bands and packing peanuts. Which I could then use along with the paper clips to break all the rest of your stuff.

[private]

[sickjoke]

No, she's a nice girl who likes puppies. Or would have if I'd had the time to introduce her.

Plz be not making life on the barge harder than it has to be right now. I have ten projects, may be taking over supervision of a kitchen shift, and have a psychic timeship baby crying for it's mama nearly 24/7.

[private]

[ichoosefight]

boo fucking hoo. I have plans that don't involve being blackmailed. We're all in the same slowly disintegrating boat here.

[private]

[sickjoke]

Blackmails? Seriously?

[private]

[ichoosefight]

everybody does it. kind of a stupid thing to lie about.

Re: [private]

[sickjoke]

Trying to figure out how 'girl with puppies' is blackmail worthy.

Must be your brand of Gotham weirdness.

[private]

[ichoosefight]

never had embarrassing baby pictures your parents threatened to show all your friends?

Re: [private]

[sickjoke]

Not that I can remember. But probably.

You forget I was a comedian, once. Self-humiliating is often our stock in trade.

Re: [private]

[ichoosefight]

A clown. Comedians laugh at everyone's expense. Clowns get laughed at.

[private]

[sickjoke]

Thanks for the reminder.

Re: [private]

[ichoosefight]

happy to be of service

[private]

[sickjoke]

ANYWAY...

Barge is like that some of the times. Other times it all SNA:FU all the time. Other times the Joker manages to possess people and makes us all crazy and kills people.

But most of the time, we do good work, people get their lives back, and we go on our way. Only the barge has been sort of effed up for a while. Since I've been here, anyway.

Re: [private]

[ichoosefight]

somebody somewhere is always throwing a temper tantrum. How does graduating work?

Re: [private]

[sickjoke]

People who were problematic -- for instance, a corporate raider who refuses to take responsibility for his own hand in his destruction and the way his life affected others -- die, come here, and learn new ways to be. Like caring about people, or not seeing murder as the first option in a fight, or maybe stop drinking until you hurt people. That sort of thing.

[private]

[ichoosefight]

So... you're basically high school guidance counselors? Hope you're getting paid well.

[private]

[sickjoke]

To murderers, thieves, and sometimes worse... an sometimes better, too. We get deals, same as you guys do I guess.

[keeps_a_cool_head]

Miss Brown.

I suppose I'm to call you warden.

[ichoosefight]

[ She laugh-snorts. ]

Heh. Sucks to be you.

[private]

[ichoosefight]

that sounds even LESS effective than Arkham.

[keeps_a_cool_head]

I warn you: attempting to control me would be a grave mistake.

[ichoosefight]

[ She laughs again, all vicious pleasure. ]

Oh, you're going to be fun.

You heard the rules: no special access until you've done your court assigned community service. Your room's gonna be stripped bare. You cause me trouble, I cripple you one limb at a time. You try and take your issues out on me, you get a bullet to the head. Do I need to write it down for you, or have you got all that memorized?

[private]

[sickjoke]

Man what do you people do at Arkham that it's so bad? My shrink at home's their director. She keeps me sane and fighting fit.