ichoosefight | 16 - Odds and ends

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16 - Odds and ends

[ Private to Scorpius ]

Hey. How you holding up, oh inmate mine?

[ She knows he's probably feeling the sting of John ~~escaping~~ leaving him. If he doesn't answer she'll just have to go and knock on his door. ]

[ Private to Dean ]

Hey. You like waffles, right? What am I saying, everyone likes waffles. I finally figured out how to use my waffle maker without burning everything, so you should totally help me not gorge myself on M&M waffles.

[ Private to Cass ]

Wanna spar? It'll be just like the old days, but with less barf.

[ General friends filter ]

I have a proposition for you:

Picnic.

Picnic? Picnic.

[ 'Nuff said. ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

My commendations, Stephanie. You actually managed to sound concerned for two microts put together.

Yeah, okay. Picnic.

Can't say I've ever been on one.

Me neither. But the movies tell me they're awesome, and sometimes end in cool musical numbers.

I do try.

So answer the question.

I'm fine. Never felt better, to be honest.

Yeah, sure. Did you see the flying pigs this morning? 'Cause I'll buy that when you do.

[Christ, it was bad enough getting nonsensical phrases from Crichton. Now he has to suffer through it with his warden, too? But he can parse the sentence enough to get the gist of what Stephanie is saying]

Regardless of what you believe, I've always been a forward-thinker. Crichton has left, so I will adjust my plans without him. I am feeling inconvenienced, if you must know, but if you expect to find me weeping in a corner, I'm afraid you'll leave disappointed.

You know irritability is a sign of stress.

What plans did you have for John anyway?

Being on this ship, I can't possibly imagine why I'd be under stress.

Plans you will be pleased to hear are no longer functional.

You're more irritable than normal. Which is why, yes, I'm worried about you.

If your concern is that I'll do something rash and violent, I can offer you only my word, which you've shown no inclination to trust.

I'm concerned that you're feeling down and could use somebody to talk to but you won't ask because you're too proud.

[ Been there, done that. ]

And what makes you think that person would be you?

Because I care enough to hunt you down. If there's somebody else just tell me. I'll leave you alone if they agree that I should.

[ No making shit up, Scorpy. ]

[Maybe it's the loss of John that's causing him to be so candid. Maybe it's some other, worse part of him that's more defeated than he can possibly say. Either way, Scorpius is quickly realizing it's been several days and he hasn't yet managed to pull himself up yet. He's taking the hit harder than most things.]

Catra and Gard have gone. Derek Powers has died and is in recovery, doubtless traumatized. I will not speak to either Horatio or the Boy on such sensitive matters.

Has it really come down to only my frelling tralk of a warden?

[Scorpius almost never, ever curses. If he were in a calmer state of mind, he'd be deeply annoyed with himself for losing control like this]

...can we avoid musical numbers?

Apparently, yeah.

[ This is one of those many, many times when Steph doesn't think before she talks. She winces shortly after as she realizes how really bad that came out. ]

Look, I just want to help. And I know from experience that sometimes what you want doesn't match up with what you need.

No promises.

[Brief, cold silence back, before he replies.]

Extrapolate, if you would, on why I need your help in this matter. Most of my personal interactions with you tend to make matters worse.

[ Ow, Scorpius. That hurts more than she cares to admit. ]

I know you. You're stubborn and angry and antisocial and you care more about getting test subjects than making friends. You deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else does, and you can't do that on your own.

[Good. He'd like everyone to hurt as much as he is right now. Deserve to be happy? Really? He believes, but won't voice, that he deserves nothing except to have perished when he was still young enough not to know the barest glimpse of happiness. ]

We aren't given to deserve anything, Stephanie. The universe only gives what we can take for ourselves with everything we have.

But if you wish to entertain this childish notion of deserving something, as if we are owed anything in life, then you know as well as I that I deserve to have been shot dead long ago.

Deserving isn't the same as being owed. And no, I don't know that. Nobody deserves to have the kinds of awful childhoods either of us had. Nobody deserves to be punished for who their parents were, or how they were raised. Everyone, and I mean everyone, deserves a chance. At least one crappy chance.

[ Maybe she's made it a bit personal, but he's always tried to make it personal with her. He never accepts anything she says unless she can apply it to real life. And this, feeling like you deserve to be put down like an animal, that nothing and no one can change? That hits too close to home for her not to be upset by it. ]

I don't care how naive or idealistic you think I am. I refuse to accept a fucked up reality as normal. I refuse to believe that the world was meant to be this shitty.

Edited 2014-08-02 00:54 (UTC)

If you come in this room, I will shoot you.

Okay. What if I wait in the door?

[Perhaps for the first time since being paired, Scorpius actually listens to the logic his warden gives him.

He sits in brooding silence, hearing his concerns validated and verified, wholly confused and upset and frell, he hasn't felt like this since he was twelve cycles old. He thought he was long since past feeling vulnerable.

Finally, he returns back, sounding if not uneasy, then at least uncertain]

What do you believe I should do?

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16 - Odds and ends

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[Private] Cheating here a bit. Meghan's not in game so I can play with her feelings

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