The only thing that makes me feel safe now is gaining in power and skill. The only thing that makes the pain stop for a while is being altered out of my mind. What will work for me? I don't know. Maybe the world being better than it is?
Tony and a bunch of other Wardens finished the job my father and Xavier did of breaking me. The so-called good guys here were the ones who more than anything made me lose my faith in people. My Warden let his boyfriend kidnap me and never bothered to look for me himself. The Warden who actually did rescue me took advantage of my being desperate for protection. I think you can guess how.
[She pauses to let that sink in, staring right into Steph's eyes.]
And nobody's sorry. Nobody will be punished. And if I show my pain and anger, I get blamed.
I'm tired of it. What I really want is to force the Wardens to shut up, listen, understand, sympathize, and stop fucking yelling at me. To make the majority of them act like decent human beings instead of heartless assbags. I can hardly expect that from Inmates, but you guys are supposed to be the good guys.
[She wipes her eyes.]
So yeah, since even I can't change reality that drastically, and the kind of people who could actually rebuild my faith in others are so rare it's ridiculous, maybe...
Maybe the only possible answer is to make myself either forget, or not care about my memories anymore. And then hope I get out of here before anything else horrible happens.
[spam]
Tony and a bunch of other Wardens finished the job my father and Xavier did of breaking me. The so-called good guys here were the ones who more than anything made me lose my faith in people. My Warden let his boyfriend kidnap me and never bothered to look for me himself. The Warden who actually did rescue me took advantage of my being desperate for protection. I think you can guess how.
[She pauses to let that sink in, staring right into Steph's eyes.]
And nobody's sorry. Nobody will be punished. And if I show my pain and anger, I get blamed.
I'm tired of it. What I really want is to force the Wardens to shut up, listen, understand, sympathize, and stop fucking yelling at me. To make the majority of them act like decent human beings instead of heartless assbags. I can hardly expect that from Inmates, but you guys are supposed to be the good guys.
[She wipes her eyes.]
So yeah, since even I can't change reality that drastically, and the kind of people who could actually rebuild my faith in others are so rare it's ridiculous, maybe...
Maybe the only possible answer is to make myself either forget, or not care about my memories anymore. And then hope I get out of here before anything else horrible happens.