...look, do you even realize what I have to look forward to even if I manage to make it out of here? I'm almost a decade behind on everything, I'll have no one, and I have to give up on my whole world just so I don't have to live with the reminder that nobody there cares about me and I'll never get justice. And every waking minute of every fucking day I am afraid and hurting to the point where I can barely stand it.
What kind of life is that? I am more alienated and angry after a year aboard the Barge than I have ever been, and it is largely because of stupid, insensitive, lazy shit that Wardens have done.
The truth is that the next heartless motherfucker who yells at me to "grow up" is getting their ass kicked. I didn't ask to be locked up in isolation for most of my life, I can't wave a magic fucking wand to catch up, and nobody is helping me catch up either. I do the best that I can, and people are still blaming me for the direct result of what was done to me. These fuckers would probably blame me for bleeding on their carpet if I staggered in with a knife in my chest.
I'd like to see Angua or Prefect or any of the others go through what I did and come out of it with no emotional issues and a perfect fucking grasp of acceptable behavior.
I...need...help. I need someone to fix what was done to me. I need someone to take the damn pain away so I can face my memories without screaming myself awake all the damn time. How the fuck am I supposed to relearn how to trust people and care about them, like that damn file says, when almost nobody cares, and even less understand?
[spam]
...look, do you even realize what I have to look forward to even if I manage to make it out of here? I'm almost a decade behind on everything, I'll have no one, and I have to give up on my whole world just so I don't have to live with the reminder that nobody there cares about me and I'll never get justice. And every waking minute of every fucking day I am afraid and hurting to the point where I can barely stand it.
What kind of life is that? I am more alienated and angry after a year aboard the Barge than I have ever been, and it is largely because of stupid, insensitive, lazy shit that Wardens have done.
The truth is that the next heartless motherfucker who yells at me to "grow up" is getting their ass kicked. I didn't ask to be locked up in isolation for most of my life, I can't wave a magic fucking wand to catch up, and nobody is helping me catch up either. I do the best that I can, and people are still blaming me for the direct result of what was done to me. These fuckers would probably blame me for bleeding on their carpet if I staggered in with a knife in my chest.
I'd like to see Angua or Prefect or any of the others go through what I did and come out of it with no emotional issues and a perfect fucking grasp of acceptable behavior.
I...need...help. I need someone to fix what was done to me. I need someone to take the damn pain away so I can face my memories without screaming myself awake all the damn time. How the fuck am I supposed to relearn how to trust people and care about them, like that damn file says, when almost nobody cares, and even less understand?