ichoosefight | 58 - Audio - Naps are now mandatory.

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58 - Audio - Naps are now mandatory.

You know what? I'm just going to take this as a not-so-subtle hint that the Admiral thinks I need more sleep. I don't see any of my friends in the infirmary, so I guess you're all okay physically at least.

And uh... Charlie Crews? Nothing personal, I just couldn't resist messing with that jerk. I'm sure you're a perfectly nice guy that I would never feel the urge to punch in the face.

[ Private to Jason ]

So, I saw that you took care of Dick during the flood. I know we don't get along and we don't really have a reason to, but thanks anyway. Blah blah blah I'm a sap and it was all to piss off scary-Bruce or whatever, but it was still pretty cool of you, so take the compliment and don't be an ass about it.

[ Private to Dallas ]

You okay? And no, I don't mean just physically, and yes, I do actually care, and yes, you are required to answer to stop me from kicking your door down, and don't think I can't or won't do it. I'm your warden. I know where you sleep.

[ooc | Reportedly it's a Mac specific problem with the internet (I am so getting a PC) but I'll do my best with what I've got. ]

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May I have a discussion with you? Concerning Dallas? It's... nothing bad, really. I simply have some information that might be of assistance. He's a bright young lad and deserves every chance he can get.

Yeah, sure. Probably more than I'll get out of him, in any case.

You recall when a group of parents came on board the Barge? It was, on the whole, an unfortunate ordeal. But an older friend of his appeared, likely the closest thing to a parent he had.

Nah. Hadn't heard from you in a few days, figured I was off he hook and it'd be okay to go on a rampage. Nothin' too big. Vandalized the common rooms, gave a couple guys a good beat-down, killed the shark.

Jesus Christ, I'm fine. What were you expectin' from me in this place? I'm bored out of my mind.

Oh Stephanie. Should I worry about you?

Oh hey, it's you. I thought you were gone for good.

Yeah, I was AWOL because my dad decided to make an appearance. What was he like?

I expected you to realize that you really couldn't live without me and spend all of your time worrying by my bedside. Bad things happen during floods sometimes, you can't blame a girl for worrying.

I'm just fine. Although I think the Admiral might be right about me needing more sleep.

You won't get rid of me that easy. It takes more than a little nap to knock me out. Uh, metaphorically speaking, of course.

Yes, I hope so. How long were you out for?

Man, why do you think I went on the rampage in the first place? Figured things wouldn't ever be the same without you and just gave up. You oughta be flattered.

What happened with you anyway?

Lemme check...

It looks like just a day or two. So nothing serious.

You have good timing.

That's good. Just imagine what the inmates could have gotten up to without you around.

Oh, not much. I just passed out mid-sentence for seemingly no reason. Happens all the time, honest. I'm sure Martha would have told me if it was a tumor or something and not just the Admiral being a jerk.

Yeah, no kidding. Who knows what sort of abuse you had in store for whichever of your 'alternate wards' you could get your hands on.

[ Very calmly: ]

It's a good thing that he was here when I wasn't.

Or I might just kill him.

You're lucky to have me around to keep things from falling to pieces. You'd be so utterly lost without me.

You know you wouldn't. You'd just beat him to within an inch of his life. I totally would have helped.

[ Brightly: ]

Or that. I would cripple him, at least.

[ Can you tell someone is really pissed. ]

How come you get to have all the fun? If I said that you would give me a lecture.

[ Pause... ]

Oh, right, it's probably because of the 'fun' bit.

That is possible, but surely there is a better way to get you to rest.

Yeah, I was thinking maybe a way that actually makes me feel rested? I don't know, maybe I'm just so dangerous that I need to be sedated on a regular basis.

I didn't think you were that dangerous...

I'd start singing Brittney Spears if I though you would get the joke. I'm obviously a distraction to the other wardens if I'm left conscious for too long.

How is crippling someone 'fun'.

The same way that ripping up old love letters after someone breaks up with you is fun.

That is a terrible comparison.

I was going to say "the same way crippling the jerk who ditched you when you were pregnant is fun" but that seemed redundant.

I know. The last two days have been a horrible mess. My warden and I had to turn to drinking.

It's still a terrible comparison.

You're not. I like having you around.

Every little thing that goes on here is the Admiral bein' a jerk. I ain't even been here as long as you and I've already got that figured out.

Smart boy. It gets old fast when you hear people complaining about these things as though it's the wardens fault and we can 'fix it' or something.

Drinking? It's worse than I thought. But don't worry, Stephanie Brown is on the job!

Aw, that's sweet of you. You know I'm just being fascetious, right?

I have been having a difficult time with joking lately.

You'll get better at it. It takes practice.

Changed my mind.

From this point on, everything's gonna be your fault.

I will take that under advisement.

I can send you the conversation.

[Which he does after that.]

He seemed quite a respectable young man. Have you had much luck with Dallas?

Aw, he seems nice! I'm glad my dad didn't get a chance to harass him while he was here.

I think I'm growing on him.

Aw shucks! Man, you've really got my goat.

There ain't any way that's a real phrase.

It is now.

That's good. I don't know how we'd survive without you. There'd be chaos. Riots in the halls.

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58 - Audio - Naps are now mandatory.

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