ichoosefight | 35 - Audio, Text - I'm too tired to use filters.

[ Audio ]

I'm back. That means crisis averted, right? Or at least ended. Whatever. [ A groan. She sounds beat all to hell and exhausted. ]

Feel like I was hit by a bus... that tried to dissect me.

[ Steph fumbles tiredly with the communicator a little, finally getting it set on Video so you can see the infirmary and confirm that yes, she looks tired, but relatively healthy. She doesn't have that "I haven't slept in days" look that death-tollers have. She gives the camera a sleepy little smile before turning serious. ]

Hey, uh, has anybody seen my backpack? It's... sort of dark green, pretty average looking? I had it when I... whatever I did. Got hit by a metaphysical bus. Anyway, it didn't make it to the infirmary with me. Do we have a lost and found here? We should start a lost and found.

[ Private to Tim and Dick, added a little later ]

[ She dun goofed. But Tim asked her to let him know, and Dick should probably know too. So. Somebody looks tired and upset with herself! ]

In the future, if you can at all help it, don't let me use this thing until I've had coffee.

[ooc | Forward-dated to tomorrow because my memo-machine is broken ]

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It's a yes or no question.

One I don't feel the need to answer.

Then your answer defaults to 'no'. New rule. Pending evidence to the contrary, I'm assuming the answer to every question left hanging is the cruelest one possible.

You need a villain? I'll play the role for you. Whatever you need.

I need him to not be here. You'll just have to take the back-seat until I stop needing that. Sorry.

Fine.

Heartbroken, I'm sure.

Not at all.

That's what you want, right? For me to be cruel?

Back to what I want now?

I want you to be honest with me. I want this pattern of every guy I sleep with being a jerk to stop. I want to undo the last two and a half years and try again. I want to stop playing games and stop having my heart torn at by all sides.

It doesn't matter what I want. I'll take what I get and I'll deal with it. Not like I have a choice.

Any three questions. I'll answer honestly, right now.

Right now? Okay...

Why did you sleep with me? Multiple answers perfectly acceptable.

Because I was hurt, angry. Because I wanted to-- wanted you. Because we had something. Because I wanted to hurt Cissie. I wanted to feel wanted. I wanted to forget.

[ There's a very long pause as she wonders how much of that is true. But it's a game, and those are the rules. No point in playing the game if you don't follow the rules. ]

Did you ever really care about me?

Yes.

Then why would you do that to me?

Do what?

Hurt me like that. You had to know that it would.

I hurt you by sleeping with you?

[His voice is sincere (if this is voice?). He doesn't understand.]

It meant something to me that it didn't mean to you. You took advantage of that. That hurts.

I told you I wanted you, that we had something. What more could it have meant to you?

It meant that I trusted you. That I wanted to be with you. I was only thinking about you. You were thinking about Cissie.

No, not then.

I trusted you. I wanted to--

[There's a beat and then he continues in a slightly different tone of voice.]

I felt that I was enough when I was with you, that I didn't have to be more. That being special was okay. I didn't feel that way with her. It was what I wanted, to feel.. good enough. To forget everything else. I only feel that way with you.

Do you really mean that?

Can I ask you one more question?

private; voice;

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