Stephanie Brown (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ichoosefight) wrote2015-06-26 09:35 pm
ichoosefight) wrote2015-06-26 09:35 pm
Entry tags:
27 - no pictures this time, we're all devastated
[ Steph is facing the camera, but mostly so people can see her expressions. As she talks her gaze moves from the camera up to the ceiling, so that she's not looking at anything at all, really. ]
So. Disclaimer: I don't have a pony in this race. I don't want to have a pony in this race. I categorically disagree with the notion of this being a race. That is not the conversation I'm having. Please, go on without me. [ She waves a dismissive hand, clearly disinterested in getting involved in the powers debate. ]
I just want to talk. I do that a lot, I'm a talk-y gal. I guess I don't talk about myself so often, which is why I'm doing this all at once in public instead of to a close friend or whatever. It's not really a confessional type deal, anyway.
With that out of the way...
[ She sits back, relaxes, and begins. ]
My dad was a career criminal. I don't mean he was able to make up for not having a career by stealing - he totally failed at making up for not having a career by stealing. He's pretty much the reason I used my first warden deal to get my mom out of Gotham. He spent all our money, he made none in return, and he screwed up my mom's ability to work too. He was in and out of Blackgate prison my whole life. When I was really little I'd pretend I just didn't have a dad, because it was easier to explain, and that way nobody would realize they'd seen my dad on TV and tell their kids I was a bad influence. I mean, [ She adds truthfully, ] I was a bad influence. I was a terrible influence. [ And maybe a little proud of that. ]
The other thing I remember about childhood is that I was always wondering when he would be around and when he wouldn't. I was little, it's not like I could keep up with all the different court dates. But it seemed like one month we'd be visiting him in prison, the next we wouldn't have said his name in weeks, the next he was home on good behavior. He did that four different times that I can remember. The guys who told us he was dead said he died serving his country. [ She laughs at that. ] Like, seriously, how were we supposed to take that? The guy was a menace, and suddenly he's a hero?
Well, anyway. Later I found out he was conscripted into what they call the Suicide Squad. Blackgate has a team of high profile criminals that they send out on missions, with a kill chip planted in their heads so they wouldn't go wild. And this is the government that's worried Superman is going to take over the world. [ She rolls her eyes. Big Superman supporter here. ]
I've been thinking a lot about that lately: the Suicide Squad. Maybe it's because I associate it with my dad, but it seems like the most backwards program ever. And that's including social welfare. [ Badump-tsh. ]
So that's how I met Batman, basically. I was sick of Dad's crap, so in true Gotham fashion I got myself a cape and a cowl and went out to do something about it. And I actually really enjoyed the work, so I kept it up. It only took two years, but I finally convinced Batman to train me for real. After I got Black Canary, Oracle, Batgirl and Robin to teach me first. So he took me on as Robin, and he was really kind of an ass about it actually. I guess he thought I was a bad influence too. Again, I was, so I can't really complain. Anyway, he's the one who really taught me about the crazy stuff, about how a small teenaged girl could take on grown men twice her size and win, and maybe take on metahumans and survive. The trick is to be tricky - everyone has a weakness, and you have to exploit it. Big guys are slow and heavy - I'm small and fast and have a practical understanding of physics. I hold my own.
It's the metahumans I was always worried about. When I was Robin, before I died, the old Robin's friend came looking for him. Superboy. Imagine Supergirl's powers in a boy her age, that's essentially what you get. He wasn't happy to find some girl when he was looking for his best friend. He grabbed me by the wire I was using to get away and dangled me thirty stories in the air. I swear to god I thought I was going to die. Give me a psycho with a knife any day.
Then there was Cass. She is- was- [ moment of silence for her deceased BFF ] the most amazing person I ever knew. She was baseline human, like me. But she could read a person's body language like Jean can read a person's mind. That's not what made her the most amazing person I've ever known, but it's definitely amazing enough. She was better than even Batman. If it was her against Superboy, Cass would win. That's how good she was - super powers were nothing. [ Another moment of silence. God, she misses Cass. ]
Anyway. Then there's Supergirl. Not our Supergirl, different universe. The Kara I know has been on Earth for ages. She's pretty amazing too. In every way Cass seems superhuman, Kara seems human. Like she's the most normal teenage girl you could possibly imagine, and she can watch my heart beat from a thousand miles over my head and bench press a planet. The government is terrified of her too, of course. They're terrified of everyone except the woman who runs the Suicide Squad, apparently.
[ There's a lengthy pause, as she has run out of thoughts to share. ]
So anyway, that's all I wanted to talk about. Apparently everyone in my life is extraordinary. But no pressure, right?
So. Disclaimer: I don't have a pony in this race. I don't want to have a pony in this race. I categorically disagree with the notion of this being a race. That is not the conversation I'm having. Please, go on without me. [ She waves a dismissive hand, clearly disinterested in getting involved in the powers debate. ]
I just want to talk. I do that a lot, I'm a talk-y gal. I guess I don't talk about myself so often, which is why I'm doing this all at once in public instead of to a close friend or whatever. It's not really a confessional type deal, anyway.
With that out of the way...
[ She sits back, relaxes, and begins. ]
My dad was a career criminal. I don't mean he was able to make up for not having a career by stealing - he totally failed at making up for not having a career by stealing. He's pretty much the reason I used my first warden deal to get my mom out of Gotham. He spent all our money, he made none in return, and he screwed up my mom's ability to work too. He was in and out of Blackgate prison my whole life. When I was really little I'd pretend I just didn't have a dad, because it was easier to explain, and that way nobody would realize they'd seen my dad on TV and tell their kids I was a bad influence. I mean, [ She adds truthfully, ] I was a bad influence. I was a terrible influence. [ And maybe a little proud of that. ]
The other thing I remember about childhood is that I was always wondering when he would be around and when he wouldn't. I was little, it's not like I could keep up with all the different court dates. But it seemed like one month we'd be visiting him in prison, the next we wouldn't have said his name in weeks, the next he was home on good behavior. He did that four different times that I can remember. The guys who told us he was dead said he died serving his country. [ She laughs at that. ] Like, seriously, how were we supposed to take that? The guy was a menace, and suddenly he's a hero?
Well, anyway. Later I found out he was conscripted into what they call the Suicide Squad. Blackgate has a team of high profile criminals that they send out on missions, with a kill chip planted in their heads so they wouldn't go wild. And this is the government that's worried Superman is going to take over the world. [ She rolls her eyes. Big Superman supporter here. ]
I've been thinking a lot about that lately: the Suicide Squad. Maybe it's because I associate it with my dad, but it seems like the most backwards program ever. And that's including social welfare. [ Badump-tsh. ]
So that's how I met Batman, basically. I was sick of Dad's crap, so in true Gotham fashion I got myself a cape and a cowl and went out to do something about it. And I actually really enjoyed the work, so I kept it up. It only took two years, but I finally convinced Batman to train me for real. After I got Black Canary, Oracle, Batgirl and Robin to teach me first. So he took me on as Robin, and he was really kind of an ass about it actually. I guess he thought I was a bad influence too. Again, I was, so I can't really complain. Anyway, he's the one who really taught me about the crazy stuff, about how a small teenaged girl could take on grown men twice her size and win, and maybe take on metahumans and survive. The trick is to be tricky - everyone has a weakness, and you have to exploit it. Big guys are slow and heavy - I'm small and fast and have a practical understanding of physics. I hold my own.
It's the metahumans I was always worried about. When I was Robin, before I died, the old Robin's friend came looking for him. Superboy. Imagine Supergirl's powers in a boy her age, that's essentially what you get. He wasn't happy to find some girl when he was looking for his best friend. He grabbed me by the wire I was using to get away and dangled me thirty stories in the air. I swear to god I thought I was going to die. Give me a psycho with a knife any day.
Then there was Cass. She is- was- [ moment of silence for her deceased BFF ] the most amazing person I ever knew. She was baseline human, like me. But she could read a person's body language like Jean can read a person's mind. That's not what made her the most amazing person I've ever known, but it's definitely amazing enough. She was better than even Batman. If it was her against Superboy, Cass would win. That's how good she was - super powers were nothing. [ Another moment of silence. God, she misses Cass. ]
Anyway. Then there's Supergirl. Not our Supergirl, different universe. The Kara I know has been on Earth for ages. She's pretty amazing too. In every way Cass seems superhuman, Kara seems human. Like she's the most normal teenage girl you could possibly imagine, and she can watch my heart beat from a thousand miles over my head and bench press a planet. The government is terrified of her too, of course. They're terrified of everyone except the woman who runs the Suicide Squad, apparently.
[ There's a lengthy pause, as she has run out of thoughts to share. ]
So anyway, that's all I wanted to talk about. Apparently everyone in my life is extraordinary. But no pressure, right?
no subject
[nope. nope, those words, whatever they were, aren't going to happen and that's maybe for the best.]
She could read animals too I think.
no subject
Really? I never got to see her around animals that I can remember.
no subject
Yeah. Maybe she didn't like animals, I don't know.
[She was trained to protect herself from guard dogs. He won't say that because the last thing Steph needs is to picture how the training went.]
Seemed okay with birds.
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no subject
I never thought much about pets back then. But after being here- I just really wish I'd got her a kitten or a rabbit or something.
[Something that would have loved her, that she could have understood.]
no subject
no subject
[He nods. It's a little comfort.]
...I'm sorry, Steph.
no subject
Me too.
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no subject